“Therapeutic contract “
Or “safe container “
A guide, our aim, our work in progress.
This list can be added to at any time with the groups enquiry and agreement.
1 Discomfort is sacred and a vital part of transformational work. It is respected here and given space, it is welcome.
May we create safe and fierce holding for discomfort to be honoured, cared for and of use. So follow and work the feeling or emotion and awareness as it becomes more important than the ‘task’ at hand.
2 speak from the ‘I’ in the spirit of non violent communication
Eg I feel, I heard, I experienced, I long for, I need.
I feel, I need, I request.
This is especially relevant when sharing about another person in your life and when giving feedback to another and their work, as well as in times of conflict resolution.
3 compassionate curiosity as a guiding light to listening.
Consciously attempting to set aside other parts of ourselves such as the cynic or judge when listening to another. Noticing these parts with kindness. Attempting to stay present to what is being shared.
4 Lean speech “what do I most need/want to say?
Using what is actually happening now, guided by the body to inform our own sharing.
5 include clear ‘asks’.
Eg, I would like feedback, I just want to be heard/witnessed/held
.*I don’t want feedback
*I need us to pause..
*i just need to be heard I don’t need problem solving.
*I can’t speak, I just need to be in my feeling
6 Not to undergo.
Permission and encouragement to continually attempt to notice and respond to ones own needs. To create a culture of encouraging individual sovereignty and awareness of our tendancies to endure and courage to challenge that in ourselves.
7 To pause and ‘clear’ if something is in the group field. There is permission and encouragement to take a pause and clear the air so that we go on in a state of being fully present. Remember that naming what is happening for you is in service to all of us.
8 Not to try to fix, rescue, give advise or analyse another person’s process or symbolic language. (instead speak from the ‘I’)
9 refer to what was actually said when giving feedback, not what we assume was meant.
10 Ask questions even of ourselves.
11 Remember we can’t be articulate all of the time. Its OK to not know or not have words. Please be comfortable to participate knowing this is a learning space, a laboratory for feeling, awareness and development.
12 maintain confidentiality. These stories and experiences of another’s work we will keep safe in our hearts our whole lives. Ask permission if you would like to refer to something at another time with a person who shared it.
NB I Marianne have regular supervision. Which means I talk about my work to ensure my own practise is regulated and kept as impeccable as possible. I will not use people’s names and I will use clean language speaking from the ‘ I’ and work with my own response to what happened.
In the rare instance that I am concerned that someone is at risk I will speak to them first and support them to get support before contacting an outside agency myself if this is not possible. I have never had to do this.
13 A REQUEST to acknowledge the being, plant or animal before working with them. Asking permission and listening for an answer before taking parts of a plant of other being… Avoid taking all of a plant. Communing with the place you feel to work outdoors both before and after. Eg is it OK to dig a hole here, can I use you tree to represent my father? .. Include gratitude and listening in your practise of working with the more than human world if this feels possible. In this way we are attempting to make a small step towards the evolution of becoming a restorer species rather than a consumer species.